The kiss that start’s us on our way
happened on a night in May.
There was a ball (as is tradition)
and a young maiden in an awkward position.

(Not like that, don’t be so rude.
Honestly! This story’s not that crude.
Now let me get on with the juicy stuff,
really I didn’t think you were all that ruff.)

So, as the music flowed like wine,
and people danced to pass the time.
A local blacksmith saw his chance
and asked this lady for a dance.

Nothing wrong as yet, you cry.
Yes there was, and I’ll tell you why.
The maiden was the king’s young daughter
and far above the man who’d caught her

in his arms in total bliss,
and planted on her lips a kiss!
There was outrage and the king insisted
that the match should be resisted.

He shouted till his face went red,
then before the court he said:
"I shall set a noble quest,
a grand and rather dangerous test.

"Beyond the boundaries of my lands
an impenetrable fortress impenetrably stands.
Locked inside it’s ancients towers
lies a sword with magical powers.

"The man who brings this sword to me,
can set my daughter’s virginity free."
So all the men jumped to their feet,
but only five could try the feat.

The king chose well, the king chose wise
(he chose only those who hadn’t got wives.)
His five brave knights went on their way
and sought this sword for a year and a day.

But that’s a long time for a pretty young maid
to wait until she gets properly laid.
So her and her blacksmith hatched a plan
that would let him be her man.

While the brave knights travelled day and night,
the blacksmith’s plan slowly took flight.
He worked in his smithy, he smelted the metal,
while the young couples’ love overflowed like a kettle.

Their plan was daring, their plan was clever,
at last they might get to stay together.
In just two weeks the work was complete,
and a newly forged sword shone in the heat

of the blacksmith’s fires, and their glowing passion,
(which they’d found it hard to ration).
They went to the castle and before the crown
the blacksmith laid his new sword down.

"My lord a sword is what you asked for,
in exchange for your daughter’s hand by law."
The king threw back his mighty head,
and laughed until his face went red.

"My boy, you stilly pesant, you fool,
a magic sword - that was the rule."
"But this sword is magic," he said with pride.
"And your daughter now should be my bride."

"What magic," bellowed the king "do you dare suggest"
"Make this sword better than the rest?"
"It possesses the greatest magic of them all,
"it can create new life," and a gasp went round the hall.

"You’re talking of playing god, little boy."
But the blacksmith’s plan could have rivalled troy
As he turned to the king and said with glee:
"Just wait nine months, my lord, and you will see."